Unlearning and learning all over again...

You don’t learn first quarter of your life anything except for the usual studies and regular life ethics or maybe you are too engrossed in it that you don’t have the time to learn anything else. Another reason also because till that time you think those two are sufficient to survive in the next three quarters .But the following years makes sure they prove you wrong and you learn everything you missed in former quarter. J I know u must be wondering what I am upto when I say this.
First quarter of your life ends up in winning the rat race in studies and ending up in a big corporate where you can make your dreams come true. Then starts the next quarter and you run trying to make big in your organization which starts with hard work but ends up with everything but not hard work.JThis is the first blow when you start changing your ethics. Or in other words you adjust to circumstances and people around you. In the process of going up the ladder of success you also learn the actual ethics required to survive in today’s big world of success where everything except honesty is required. Good for you. Not that you unlearn your basic fundas of life which you might have learnt from your family but you learn to mingle them with today’s funda that is work but don’t overwork and plus if you work make sure everybody sees you working otherwise there is no point of working. And many more such things. The degree upto which you manipulate your old fundas with new one tells something about your goodness. If all that matters to you is little work and all showoff you are not all that a good person at heart but if it is a mix of both still ok. Now c’mon everybody does that .Atleast you are better than the former. Nyways this is the way you end your next 2-3 years. By the time it is time to touch 30 you realize now you have the learnt the tradeoffs of your industry but you are lagging in your personal life. U don’t have a constant boyfriend/girlfriend you can immediately get married to or atleast think of getting married so another fight starts .That of hunting for a prospective guy/girl. Anyhow by this time you already have learnt that love is just an illusion so now the decision has to be a practical one. But when has god taken your opinion before deciding anything for you. So here you go –get married to whosoever is destined for you. J
There starts another phase of adjusting youself with another person, the spouse  n everything new around you. This field again has its own way of working .Certain set of rules which differ from the ones you followed till now. Here comes another change in the set of ideologies you knew till date. And this time its all the more important to understand these .After all you change an organization at your convenience but this is something which is supposed to be permanent. So starts another tussle of getting adjusted in the new environment. So next few years gets spent in adjusting to new ways of life and striking a balance between everything and everybody or sometimes just living on the edge and still living.J
Not that I want to make a point in this blog but just how we unlearn whatever we learn in our first quarter of life and how trivial and useless the learnings of first quarter seems when we enter the next quarter and subsequent quarters of life when actually it should be the base for whatever follows in the next quarters of life. So does that mean don’t make your child learn the ageold concepts of honesty, hardwork and all that bakwaas.J Make him learn the new ways of life .

Rejuvenation of mind

Art of Living

For some time now life has been sometimes better and sometimes not but it left me drained physically and mentally. So I thought of rejuvenating myself, no not by spas or facials but by going tothis  6day workshop.  Though there were so many times before this that I thought of attending this particular workshop but most of the times everything else took priority over rejuvenation of mind and body and I ended up delaying this but now again had it not been for a particular follower convincing me in joining this it would have been delayed endlessly. But I am happy that I attended it, infact she pursued me in attending it. This session was held foraround two hrs every morning. For me getting up at 4:30 in the morning was not a routine. In fact I don’t remember when did I last get up so early after my infy training days. So initial 2-3 days were like I thought why did I join this but I guess the third day I started enjoying it. When I was attending it I thought how strange it is that when I have not even entered in my 30’s I am leaving the rat race and looking for inner peace. But now after I have completed it I can atleast say one thing this is not something which has to be followed or better said which is followed by leaving the rat race but it is made to help you cope up better with today’s stressful life.

Thank you my friend

I believe life is about being satisfied with the way you live your life,and what you give and what you get from it.After all everything in life is all about Give and Take.Most of the times we are so busy in our superfast lives that we dont get the time to stop and think over where we are heading to.If I talk about my life I guess 30 years or to be precise 29 years were well lived.I've put in lots and lots of effort and god gave me lots of lots of good things which included good job,few good friends who really cared about me,good travelling around the globe and ofcourse a good husband.Not that I did not have my share of low periods or heartbreaks or fights.All of them I had major shares but then they say alls well that ends well and if you emerge a winner it doesn't really bother what has gone into the making.True!!!
                                                                    For almost last one year I have not been happy with my life.Its been full of uncertainties. It seemed as if god is taking one of the major exams of my life.Life went topsy turvy in all the aspects be it career,be it health,be it peace of mind and the worst part was I had no control on any of them.Thinking about this something came in my mind,while we were doing our engineeering we used to give compartment exam in next semester if failed in one of the subjects in the previous semester.I can feel that I have simultaneously given compartment exam for so many subjects in the same semester.Anyways I know after a long dark night comes a very bright day .So I am sure this would end and a new life will begin which would again bring lots of happiness and peace.(My list which used to be happiness,peace and success and necessarily in this order has shortened now to happiness and peace.The reason maybe the wisdom to know that latter is a superset of the former)But times like these make so many people so closer to you and so many people so distant from you.There are some people who at this time would try to sympathise with you and would confuse you more with their little chit chats and you end up thinking and worrying more.On the contrary there are some who make you believe that you would definitely come out of it and they show you how in the past you have come out of such difficult situations,they would make you remember all the hard times you have seen and how you came out of them emerging as a winner .They make you belive in god and in yourself.I am really thankful to one such friend of mine who is very close to my heart and has always become closer in times like these.This blog I have dedicated to that friend.Thankyou my friend...

When you have to decide on one of your love...

People always tell me you have to set your priorities straight.In fact this a very close friend of mine has always advised me to set my priorities straight.Though I have set them straight for now but still in my heart of hearts I feel "have I done the right thing by quitting?"Not that job is more important than your family or your health but still for me it's not just a medium of earning some bucks that add to your family's income.It certainly is that but more than that for me maybe it has been a way of satisfying my ego,having pride in myself that I have come a long way from where I started ,made my parents proud of me and that this has become possible because of God who has always been beside me and hard work .I still cherish those moments that were part of my success-getting into one of the India's best companies,getting my first onsite and then subsequent onsites ,getting promoted to technical analyst designation.These might sound like a conventional career path for somebody who is an IT person but for me it's been a measure of my success and I take pride in all of them.I know I got swayed from the main topic that of setting straight the priorities thing .So back to the main topic if you happen to live in India and be a female and have big dreams of becoming big in corporate and along with all that you also want to have a happy family life it's not a cake walk...Not that it is impossible but need to compromise on one thing or the other and if you happen to not compromise on either of them it's your health which compromises.I often feel how do you set what people call setting straight the priorities in a situation where you are not medically very fit but still managing office and home and the travel from office to home n vice versa (my major pain area all throughout because it takes an hour even for 20 min travel in peak timings-irrespective of whether it is within gurgaon or from noida to gurgaon)and all this you are doing not because anybody is compelling you to but because this has been your passion and you just don't want to let it go and trying to hold on to everything .In such a situation What if work requires you to travel overseas you definitely can't say yes to it but saying NO to it would definitely hinder your success in more than one ways.My question is "How do you set your priorities straight?" And my answer is you cannot because not everything is black and white .Some like these has shades of grey.Not everything has an answer stating this is my priority because for people like me all of these things have equal priority so how do I pick up one and leave the others.I am and will always be a great fan of my country but there is this one thing which I really like abroad ,work from home feature which many of our Indian MNCs do boast of but when you actually get into them you realise there are very few instances where they let you do that...So for now I have set my priority to be with the ones I love and for a while have quit my another love.:-)